HOW TO KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS - Ambiguity

When it comes to New Year's Resolutions, I think it is safe to say that most of us have 2 lists - the one's we have sort-of kept and those that have fallen by the wayside. If these resolutions were teams in the NCAA Basketball Tournament, I think the safe bet would be that the list with the most points would be the "fallen by the wayside" list. Why is this?

When the resolution was made, every good intention was backing it and you made it known to yourself and others that this time would be different. But, and there always seems to be one doesn't there, here we are again to talk about these resolutions and why they're not being kept. As if it wasn't bad enough to beat yourself up over failing to keep the promises you made to yourself, when others find out about it, they tend to want to help you by sharing a bit of wisdom. This pain is usually followed with something like "I'm only telling you this because I love you so much", or "let me tell you where you messed up", or something really loving like a smack to the back of the head and a sharp "What were you thinking?!!!"

In this and the next few posts, I am going to share some thoughts on how to do a better job keeping your New Year's Resolutions and any other resolutions you want to keep.

The first reason I'll share is ambiguity. When people are asked what they want, they often give very good answers like, to be happier, to be healthier, to be richer, to have a better job, and to be in a better relationship.

While these all sound very good, the reason these people fail to keep these resolutions is they can never achieve what they have stated. I could give you a penny to make you richer. However, I doubt that is what you had in mind. I could give you a puppy and as long as you don't abuse it, you will have as loving a relationship as anyone could ask for. But again, I'm not convinced that is the picture you had in mind.

To keep more of our resolutions and reach the goal, we must carefully define richer, better job, or better relationship. Have you ever tried to see clearly when your eyes are full of water? It makes my eyes water just thinking about it. In life, we often hinder ourselves from getting what we want because we hide it behind ambiguous resolutions. We think we are saving ourselves from the embarrassment of failing since we could achieve these vague goals at any time, but what usually happens is as I have detailed above and rather than the safe route protecting us, we doom ourselves to fail by not clearly defining what it is we are trying to do.

It’s not too late, get out your pen and pad and just let your mind empty onto the page. Then, sort through all the random stuff that falls out and write down 2 or 3 very clear word pictures of what you want. Then, go to work to get them.