Box-less Thinking

Your Thoughts, Your Life – For Better Or Worse
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Whether you believe it or not you are a thinker. All human being are. Some think more than other and some think better than others, but we all think. Since everything we do is ultimately a decision based on out thinking, we are what we are because of the way we have thought about things up to now. And the best part is that all we can or will become will be the result of the thinking we do today going forward. It you want to get out of the box you find yourself in, you must change the way you think.

Creativity Is Only For Children
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I read about a report once that focused on a series of I.Q. tests given to children ages 2 – 4 years. Of these little children, 95% of them tested out as highly creative and they were indicated to have curious and questioning minds with the ability for abstract thinking.

The report went on to say that things had changed with these children by the time they were 7. The tests were administered again and found only 5% of these once highly creative children still demonstrated those same high levels of creativity. It seems that between their first testing and the second, these children had learned what we all learn and that is not to rock the boat. They learned how to conform to the norm.

Conformity Can Be Dangerous
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We tell our older children all the time not to be like certain others in their class. We ask them questions like, “well, if Tommy jumped off a cliff, does that mean you have to jump off the cliff too?” We do this for their safety, but as can be seen from these children, the danger doesn’t end with the physical harm, the can also lose their creativity and the quality of their thinking will plummet. During the years between tests, these children had lost their wonderful spontaneity, had developed fears about being different or wrong, and had learned to keep their ideas and insights to themselves for fear that they were unusual or different.

Challenge Yourself To See New Ideas
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Fortunately, creativity is a birthright. It is something every human being has as part of their fundamental nature. Just think how imaginative and creative you have been when forced to come up with an excuse about why you were late, why you didn’t get you homework done, or why the house still hasn’t been cleaned. You need to convince yourself that you can draw on this creativity at any time, no matter how long it has been since you used it for good.

How Can I Put This To Use Today
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Start by thinking as if the thing you are trying to think of has already been thought of by someone else and they are in competition with you. If you can’t come up with the same or a better answer, you could be beat.

Now, think about ways of doing exactly the opposite of what you are currently doing. Let you mind play with these ideas. Then, let your mind consider how the trends of today will effect tomorrow. This should help you do some box-less thinking.

Copyright © 2006

Overcoming the Speed Bumps to Your Creativity

Don’t you just hate it when you are in a hurry to get somewhere and you turn down a street loaded with speed bumps. Well, there are a couple of speed bumps that can get in the way when you are trying to unleash your creativity. They can be overcome, but you need to know what to look for other than the yellow stripes on the blacktop.

The Comfort Zone – Easy Street
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The first speed bump has a real fancy name, “Homeostasis.” This simply means trying to stay constant, working to keep things consistent and familiar. You may have heard the phrase, “We’ve always done it this way.” Sticking with the status quo is the easy street that most people like living on because it doesn’t require and learning or overcoming any challenges. You just keep doing the same things over and over. Obviously, this will not get you far down the road of success.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”

You can overcome this speed bump by recognizing you have a natural tendency to drift toward your comfort zone. Once you see it in yourself, you will also begin to see it in most of the people around you. Then, make a quick turn onto another street by making the conscious effort to do something different and out of the ordinary. Monitor yourself and make sure you don’t spend too much time on easy street and you are on your way to overcoming the first speed bump.

Creative people have open minds. That’s not to say they let just anything run amuck in there, but they are willing to listen carefully and patiently, without judging or jumping to conclusions before making up there minds about something. This makes it easier for them to learn new things and adopt new ways of doing things. Put this to use in your own life each time you need to turn away from your comfort zone.

The School Of Hard Knocks
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The second speed bump to overcome is fear. In the movie Dune, the hero of the story repeats a phrase which includes the statement that “fear is the mind killer.” Have you ever heard of anyone being frozen with fear? We spend so much time conditioning ourselves to believe that it’s worse than dying if we are discovered to have been wrong about something, that often we freeze and do nothing for fear of doing the wrong thing. It’s probably a safe bet that 80% or more of adults worry so much about being wrong that they choose to do nothing or just keep doing the same old things rather than try to improve any thing in their life. Procrastination, doubt, indecision, excuses for delaying, and that wonderful paralysis by analysis are all symptoms of this fear of failure.

How Can I Put This To Use Today
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Start by admitting that you have a normal tendency to drift toward your comfort zone and that there is nothing wrong with that. But, keep in mind that the road to success is not crowded and easy street (the comfort zone) is packed.

Then, forget about making mistakes. Focus on your actions. Keep yourself moving in a positive direction and don’t cruise your comfort zone for too long at any one time. Besides, most people are wrong most of the time. The differences can be found with those people who choose to change their actions and try driving on a different street for a while. As Nike has said, “Just do it!”

Copyright © 2006

The Power of Self-Discipline

Do I Self-Discipline?
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When one forces oneself to do what they need to do when they need to do it, even when they don’t feel like it, we say that person has self-discipline.

Anybody can do what needs to be done when they feel like it. The difference between the truly successful and those just getting by is your ability to do it when you don’t feel like it.

There are decisions you need to make today about the course your life is taking. Whatever your circumstance, you are faced with the decision to go with it or leave it. There are some decisions you need to make that can have a serious impact on your career course and possibilities. You need to exercise some self-discipline to lay the choices out in front of you, weight the pros and cons, project yourself into the future, and make a decision about which direction you want to go. Then, get started. Most people never take the time to do this and this one action can get you farther in your career than many people will ever go.

Seven Steps to Achieve Your Goals
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There is evidence to support the idea that having a plan for achieving your goals has a great deal to do with weather you reach those goals or not. Following is one simple variation, among many, of a plan to help you achieve your goals. Successful people testify to the fact that having a plan has helped them achieve more, faster, and it can work for you too.

1. Choose a specific goal. You might have different goals in each area of your life.

2. Record your goal. Be as clear as possible in defining your goal. Leave no room for doubt.

3. Select a time when you want this goal to be in place. You might have to start by breaking a larger goal into smaller goals and decide on a time for completion for each of them in order.

4. Identify all the things you can think of that you will need to do in order to accomplish your goal. Keep this list and if you think of or discover new things you have to do, simply add them to your list.

5. Place all the things you identified in your list from step four in front of you and arrange them in the order they need to be completed. This will be your plan for achieving your goal. You may find there are some things you can do at the same time.

6. Choose the first item in your plan and do something about it. Your goal will only get farther away the more time you spend NOT doing something about it.

7. Keep Moving! Do something about the items in your plan every day. This constant action will keep you always moving in the direction of your goal and will help you to build-up and maintain momentum to get through the more trying times.

How Can I Put This To Use Today
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Start by practicing the seven steps outlined here. Remember to take some kind of action today to strengthen your self-discipline and to develop some momentum toward your goal.

Then, from the list of things you have identified you will have to do, realize the cost (not just monetary) of accomplishing each item and get started paying the price. Consider this and investment in yourself and your future. When you achieve your goal, you will most likely have no problem with the cost you paid. In fact, the higher the price you pay, the sweeter the victory will be.

Copyright © 2006

HOW TO KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS - Persistence

The last reason I want to present in this series of reasons why our resolutions are not kept and our goals are not achieved is "want to" or persistency. Some might say they really want to do something, but when people really want to do something, they usually find a way to do it – even if there are lots of obstacles in the way.

It is very easy to get frustrated and quit. It doesn’t take a lot of willpower to make the choice to quit. Where the “want to” really comes in to play is deciding to stick it out when it gets hard and/or confusing and you don’t know if you can make it or even what to do next.

It boils down to not giving up on the things you want. We may give up or quit sometimes because the “want to” for the resolution set or the goal chosen is not really the deep-down thing we want. Getting excited about a goal is not hard to do. It is also a fairly easy thing to have hope that one day you might somehow achieve your goal and all will be right with the world. But hope without the excitement which causes you to take the actions required to make things happen is not much more than day-dreaming. The trick is to maintain that excitement.

A common excuse is that excitement about a goal or resolution goes away as it does with all new things as you get used to them and the new wears off. But, you have to find a way to renew the excitement everyday. Come on! you say. That’s just faking it. You fake it everyday when you answer peoples’ question about how you are doing. Have you ever found yourself feeling better just because someone made you smile or laugh? The body responds to the input it is given. If we only got out of the bed on the days we feel like it, we would be a world of bedridden people.

Excitement is not permanent. That is why you have to find a way to renew it everyday. You can compare it to taking a bath. Just because you took one yesterday, doesn’t mean you won’t need one today. Just keep seeing yourself as having already reached your goal and the satisfaction that comes with it. Keep reminding yourself that all the struggle and pursuit is worth it. And remember, just because you mess up a time or two doesn’t mean you have to quit or you can’t make it. Just keep remembering your reason and you’ll continue to make progress until BAM! before you know it, you’re there.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS - Impulsivity

The fourth reason I want to present for why so many resolutions go unmet is impulsive actions. So many resolutions are chosen as a result of the impulse of a moment. While, being impulsive can add spice and mystery to a romantic relationship, the less impulsive our goals and resolutions are the more likely it is we are going to reach the goal and keep the resolution.

Waiting until the last minute to start planning a goal for lasting change in our life is not the most ideal situation. Deciding that you won't drink or smoke anymore while you live with and always socialize with drinkers or smokers is not the best plan. You are basically setting yourself up to have the hardest time to try to keep the resolutions by always tempting yourself with the thing you supposedly want to avoid.

You are much more likely to keep your resolution and reach your goal if you put together a simple plan to make a change in your life. List the steps you must take in order to get to where you want to be. Determine how long each of these steps will take. Choose a realistic date when you want to have accomplished your goal. Then, take a calendar and starting from the date you want to have achieved, go backwards with your list and mark the dates when each step needs to be completed and the next begun. By doing this, you can determine a realistic starting date for the change you want to make in your life and you have a documented and realistic plant to achieve it.

When Alice asked the Cat which way she should go, the Cat responded by asking where she was going. Alice said she didn’t know where she was going, so the Cat replied by saying that if that was the case, it didn’t much matter which way she went. Likewise, if you haven’t identified where you want to go, it doesn’t much matter what you do today. But, if you have a vision for something better in your life, you need to develop a plan and start working on it.

I will leave you with a helpful hint. Always remember that your plan is not etched in stone and can be changed. Just because you change your plan doesn’t mean you have given up on your goal. It just means you are taking a different route to get there. Enjoy the journey!

HOW TO KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS - Simplicity

The third reason for failed resolutions I would like to share with you has to do with the K.I.S.S. Principle. That’s Keep It Simple, Silly. The simpler an action is to take, the more likely we are to take it.

Let me share a story with you where some friends of mine incorporated this idea into one of their resolutions or goals. They were having some problems using their credit card too much. The goal was to limit the usage and keep it paid off. Their solution obviously had to make it harder for them to use the card. What they did was to seal the credit card in a Ziploc bag, put it in a bowl of water, and freeze it. Now, instead of slapping the plastic down on an impulse, they had to go home and get the frozen card out of the freezer. They then had to either chip the ice off the card (risking damaging the card) or wait for it to melt. This gave them time to think about the whether or not they really wanted to use the card. Problem solved.

Making simple resolutions is one thing; having a simple number is another. When we are excited about making changes (or fed up with the current situation), we may make a list of 10 or more major life changes we are going to make in the next 12 months. I don’t know about you, but sometimes making 1 change is a challenge all by itself. Therefore, why not keep the big list as your master list and sort it by what changes are most important to you. Then, take the top 2 or 3 items and go to work on them. If, in the next 6 months you have accomplished all these, then by all means get a head-start on the next 12 months and take the next 2 or 3 on the list and go to work on them.

One of the keys to making lasting changes in your life is confidence. If you tackle a big’ole list, it may take you some time to have enough victories to build the confidence you need to keep going. However, when you start with only 2 or 3, you can focus a lot more time and energy on the things most important to you and more quickly achieve the wins you need to take on more challenges.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS - Reality

The second reason I will discuss for not keeping resolutions is the fact that many resolutions are unrealistic. Now don't get me wrong, I think you should dream big, but if you can't believe your dream could come true, then what kind of effort are you really going to waste on it?

It is easy to make resolutions when we're all pumped up with excitement. Unfortunately, we tend to act like children hitting the dessert bar - we really load up thinking we're going to really enjoy all of it. In the end, we either get sick from trying to eat too much or embarrassed from all the wasted food on our plate. It works the same with resolutions. We can kill ourselves trying to do too much. Instead of declaring "I will never eat another carb for as long as I live", maybe we should be a little more realistic and change that resolution to something like only having a small amount of carbs each day.

Another trap is when you are doing things for others and not for yourself. You may even now be trying to keep some resolution or reach some goal that you really don't care about except that your mom or your spouse or someone you care about wants or expects you to do it. It is really hard to be motivated to do something for someone else's reasons.

Take a look at the things you are pursuing and if you find you are not being realistic, do yourself a favor and change plans. Just because you change your plan doesn't mean you are giving up. Pursue those things you can truly believe you can do and make sure you are doing it for you.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS - Ambiguity

When it comes to New Year's Resolutions, I think it is safe to say that most of us have 2 lists - the one's we have sort-of kept and those that have fallen by the wayside. If these resolutions were teams in the NCAA Basketball Tournament, I think the safe bet would be that the list with the most points would be the "fallen by the wayside" list. Why is this?

When the resolution was made, every good intention was backing it and you made it known to yourself and others that this time would be different. But, and there always seems to be one doesn't there, here we are again to talk about these resolutions and why they're not being kept. As if it wasn't bad enough to beat yourself up over failing to keep the promises you made to yourself, when others find out about it, they tend to want to help you by sharing a bit of wisdom. This pain is usually followed with something like "I'm only telling you this because I love you so much", or "let me tell you where you messed up", or something really loving like a smack to the back of the head and a sharp "What were you thinking?!!!"

In this and the next few posts, I am going to share some thoughts on how to do a better job keeping your New Year's Resolutions and any other resolutions you want to keep.

The first reason I'll share is ambiguity. When people are asked what they want, they often give very good answers like, to be happier, to be healthier, to be richer, to have a better job, and to be in a better relationship.

While these all sound very good, the reason these people fail to keep these resolutions is they can never achieve what they have stated. I could give you a penny to make you richer. However, I doubt that is what you had in mind. I could give you a puppy and as long as you don't abuse it, you will have as loving a relationship as anyone could ask for. But again, I'm not convinced that is the picture you had in mind.

To keep more of our resolutions and reach the goal, we must carefully define richer, better job, or better relationship. Have you ever tried to see clearly when your eyes are full of water? It makes my eyes water just thinking about it. In life, we often hinder ourselves from getting what we want because we hide it behind ambiguous resolutions. We think we are saving ourselves from the embarrassment of failing since we could achieve these vague goals at any time, but what usually happens is as I have detailed above and rather than the safe route protecting us, we doom ourselves to fail by not clearly defining what it is we are trying to do.

It’s not too late, get out your pen and pad and just let your mind empty onto the page. Then, sort through all the random stuff that falls out and write down 2 or 3 very clear word pictures of what you want. Then, go to work to get them.

Welcome to Empowerment!!!

Hi there! I'm really glad you chose to read this blog. The plan is to develop this site into something that will empower many people to do the things they feel are impossible for them to do or to do something about the things they feel powerless to do anything about it.

Since you're reading this, I trust you were (1) looking for something (I think I have that covered) and (2) that something needs to give you some power to be able to do something. After reading this, I hope you leave with more power than when you arrived. Then, go take some action and come back for more. If you find Empowerment to be helpful, give me some feedback to let me know how Empowerment has helped you.

Let me tell you a little about the motivation behind this.

I can't tell you how many times I walk down the street or through the mall or wherever and see people that are carrying themselves as if there was nothing at all of worth in them. They walk along as if they are powerless to do anything and they are just rolling with the waves of life trying not to drown. Sometimes, I try to see if I can find out just how far inside themselves they have tried to hide. As I am walking toward them, I give a big, genuine smile - the kind you give a good friend you haven't seen in a while. I'm amazed by the response I get from some people. They smile back. Just a little at first, then more and more. Until, as their smile grows, you can almost see their whole body begin to react to the power of their own smile. When I see this, I know this person could be, do, and have so much more than they are presently settling for. I have often thought it would be so awesome to be able to stop the world at that moment and sit down with this person to tell them just how much power they have within themselves and what a difference they could make in this world with just their smile. It would be so incredible to be able be a support to them; to watch them grow and overcome their obstacles; to see them develop into the person they have dreamed they could be.

For this first post, I would like to leave you with a simple, but powerful quote.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Maybe, just maybe, I can begin to see some of my own dreams come true through this blog. Maybe I can write something here that will give you the power you need to climb your mountain, to chase your impossible dream, to be more than you ever thought you could be.